Hey there! This is Sarah Scott. I asked my good friend Mika Maddela, who runs a relationship advice blog called The Path to Passion where she helps people with relationship problems, give a bit of advice to my readers here on how to get your ex boyfriend back.
She was kind enough to put this thorough video and article together. So, let me hand this over to Mika now…
Click Here After the Video for More on How to Get Him Back
[Note: This is a transcript of the video above]
Hello. My name is Mika Maddela.
I’m guessing that you’re here because you want to get your ex boyfriend back. Let me tell you, I can really relate to you. I know only too well what it feels like to go through the agony of heartbreak and I’m truly sorry to hear about what you’re going through.
However, right now the one thing you can’t do is feel sorry for yourself if you want anything to change.
Being dumped can be an extremely emotional thing to go through, and if you’re anything like me, chances are good you probably just want to stay at home and sulk.
But if you’re interested in learning how to get your ex boyfriend back…
… it is vitally important that you get a proven plan together now. Or else you might make some rash decisions on instinct that could actually be doing more harm than good when it comes to getting him back.
You see, most of the time if you just go with your instincts in life, you’ll probably be doing the right thing.
But that isn’t the case when it comes to break ups!
You see, if you’re anything like I was, you are probably feeling completely rejected and heartbroken right now. These feelings can really make you do or say some things that will actually hurt your chances of getting your boyfriend back.
So, take a few minutes to set aside any distractions and let me share some solid advice you can use right now to help you get started today.
3 Important Steps to Get Your Boyfriend Back
There are really only 3 things you need to do to get the ball rolling and get your ex boyfriend back in your life again.
Sometimes I hear from girls who are so convinced that their situation is so unique or different that they’re the exception to the rule. Now, I understand that everyone is unique, and your relationship was special.
But if you truly want to get your ex boyfriend back, the please keep the following things in mind and try to see how they might apply to you and your relationship.
This has worked for countless women and I’m confident that it can help you get your boyfriend back.
So, let’s get started:
One – Understanding You
I understand that you feel pretty low right now, but what you need to understand is that your ex boyfriend isn’t going to get back together with you if you’re coming off as needy or desperate.
A lot of women, on some level, feel that if they just let him know how much they love him or how much pain they’re in, that he’ll come back out of a sense of guilt or pity.
But, this “strategy” really doesn’t work. You see, a man is never attracted to a woman out of guilt or neediness.
This isn’t why he fell in love with you in the first place. By using this “strategy,” a lot of women are just making things so much harder for themselves.
So, if you’re doing this, please stop now before you hurt your chances even more.
If you’re serious about learning how to get your ex boyfriend back, then you need to drop these negative feelings and remind him exactly why he fell in love with you to begin with.
But How Can You Stop Feeling Bad?
Now, perhaps this sounds good… in theory, but maybe you’re wondering what you could possibly do to stop these bad feelings that seem to be tearing you apart?
I can completely relate to what you’re feeling. I know what it’s like to have your boyfriend (and best friend) suddenly tell you that he just doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you anymore.
Here is an exercise you can do to help you change your focus.
- Take a moment and picture what it would feel like to be back in a relationship with your ex boyfriend again. Now, I don’t want you to think of something from the past. Instead try to envision this as though it’s in the future.
- Make this as vivid and real as you possibly can. What does it feel like to have him hold you in his arms again? How do you feel when you hear him laugh at one of your inside jokes? What what do you feel when you hear him tell you that he loves you? Can you get a picture in your mind of what it would be like to have a happy and uplifting relationship with him again?
You’re probably starting to feel a little better now, aren’t you?
At any given moment you really have two choices about what you focus on. You can either focus on what you want or on what you don’t want.
Whenever you have any sort of bad feeling, it is because you are focusing your mind on what you don’t want.
Let me just emphasize that to make sure it sticks:
All negative emotions are the direct result of focusing on what you do not want.
Negative emotions come from holding images in your mind of loneliness, sadness, loss, grief, and so forth. And let me tell you, if you are going through a break up, there is an extremely high chance you are focusing on some of these things.
What we just did was we shifted your focus from something you don’t want to something you do. And when that happens, something amazing happens:
You start to feel good 
Rather than all the bad things you may have been focusing on, you can start to feel happiness, gratitude, hope, and anticipation.
What makes this whole focusing thing even more powerful though, is that when you feel bad, you give off a bad emotional vibe and when you feel good, you give off a good vibe.
Don’t doubt for a moment that your ex boyfriend notices this vibe.
Do you think he is more likely to want to spend time with you and see you if you:
- feel sad, heartbroken, and miserable?
- or if you feel upbeat, bubbly, and cheerful?
If you give off a negative, needy, or desperate vibe every time you’re around your ex boyfriend he’ll notice it, and it will drive him even further away from you. This is especially true because he probably also feels bad himself because he feels somewhat responsible for making you feel this way in the first place.
But what if, instead of that, you were happy, bubbly, and just in an over all good mood? You would be letting your natural personality shine through and you would be acting just like the woman that he fell in love with the first time around. He couldn’t help but feel drawn to you again!
This is the power of really focusing your mind and why it is so critiacal at getting your boyfriend back.
Two – Don’t Pick Up That Phone!
If you’ve done even a little bit of research before you ended up here, you’ve probably heard of the No Contact rule. In case you haven’t heard of it, basically all is means is simply cutting off all contact with your ex-boyfriend for one month. You do this for three important reasons:
- It gives you the time you need to heal from the break up.
- It gives your ex boyfriend the chance to miss you.
- It keeps you from doing things that will only push him further away.
A lot of women are hesitant about implementing the No Contact rule. And trust me, I completely understand. The most common complaint is: “If I just let go and don’t try to contact him, won’t he just move on and forget about me?”
It may seem that way, but the truth is actually the other way around.
Kind of strange, I know. But look at it this way. Your boyfriend might have given you reason for ending your relationship, but when you look past all the explaining, he really just wants space away from you and the relationship.
If you are constantly reaching out to him and trying to win him back, hoping that if you could just explain things to him the right way he’d take you back, you’re really just ignoring his request for space.
So he has to pull even further away from you just to get that space.
And so the vicious circle starts until he is completely out of your life for good.
Don’t worry that he’s going to forget you. I swear to you that he won’t in just one month. Even if he seems to have moved on and he’s even dating someone new, don’t doubt that you still hold a place in his mind.
What you’re really doing is you are giving him exactly what he wants. Plus, you’re also giving him the chance to miss you. If you’re not constantly there trying to make contact with him, he’ll quickly feel the impact of the break up, and there is a very good chance he’ll miss you and decide the break up was a mistake.
It can be tough to fight back those urges to talk to him or to try just one more time to reach through to him, but keep in mind that these actions are all motivated by focusing on what you do not want.
If you find this happening, just remember that little exercise we did earlier. That will switch your focus back to what you do want.
Three – Get Out and Do Something
Joining some local groups or classes, spending time with your friends, or volunteering may not really seem like it will help you get your boyfriend back, but bear with me for a moment.
If you can get out and start doing some things instead of just sulking at home a few interesting things happen:
- First, you are keeping your mind off of your break up. This immediately helps you focus more on positive things and less on negative things.
- Second, you’re doing something with yourself. This makes you feel incredibly more confident, which will help you when you start talking to your boyfriend again.
- Third, you are also taking your life in a new direction. When your ex boyfriend hears about this, you’d better believe that he’ll notice and find it very interesting.
What to Do If You’ve Already Messed Up
When I tell this to some women, they’ll respond with “Mika, I’ve already broken a lot of these rules. Does this mean that I’ve completely ruined my chances of getting my boyfriend back?”
Not by a long shot!
I broke all of these rules when I went through my break up. We’re only human and we make mistakes. All you have to do is stop what you were doing before and use these three things moving forward from here.
I promise you, you are not a lost cause
Next Steps
If you’ve gotten here and you still want to learn more and figure out what to do next, I’ve put together a special page just for girls like you.
Just click the link below and I’ll show you what you need to do from here get your ex boyfriend back without tricking or manipulating him.
Despite what you may have heard on other websites, you can get your ex boyfriend back in a way that will leave you both feeling good and excited to rebuild your relationship together. Isn’t that really what you want?
