Sometimes after a break up, a woman will ask me “What do I do if my ex boyfriend texted me?”

I know how you feel. I’ve been there myself, staring at a text message in your phone. It’s like the past just comes roaring back into your life. Just when you thought he was gone for good, suddenly you get a message saying something like “Hey what’s up?” or “I miss you.”

It’s an issue that comes up a lot whether you’re trying to get him back with the No Contact Rule or move on with your life. Sometimes it can come out of the blue when it seems like your ex boyfriend is ignoring you one minute and then reaching out to you the next.

What’s really going on? Is he over you or not?

So, let’s take a look at each scenario:

What to Do If You’re Trying to Get Over Him.

If you want to move on with your life, you have to really ask yourself what the potential gain would be from staying in contact with him?

Yes, I know that the two of you probably had your share of good times, and it is difficult to let go of those. But if you really want to move on with your life, eventually date other guys and fall in love with them (and you know beyond the shadow of a doubt that the relationship is over for good), then what is the point of staying in touch?

It may seem harsh, but in situations like this, your best bet might just be to cut contact with him.

After all, any future guys that you date will probably see any sort of contact with your ex boyfriend as something to insecure or jealous of.

Now, I was reading this university study that explained that, although many people believe that men can have emotionless sex and women require an emotional attachment, men are actually more jealous of a physical encounter between his partner and another guy.

To sum it up, guys are more likely to feel jealousy if they know or even think about their girlfriend or wife with another man. And when he finds out that you’re staying in touch with your ex boyfriend, what do you think will instantly pop into his mind?

Plus, if you keep in touch with him, there is now undeniable proof (from another university study) that websites like Facebook can actually lead to more jealousy in your relationship. If you’re “friends” with your ex boyfriend online, that will just plant the seed of doubt in his mind and make your relationship with your new boyfriend even more difficult.

So, if you really don’t want to keep him in your life, don’t text him back. It may seem harsh, but the best way to ensure your future happiness with another guy is to completely cut your ex out of the picture.

What to Do if You’re Trying to Get Him Back

Well, if you’re trying to get back together with him, it would probably make sense for you to actually, reply, right?

Hold on a second though. Before you start texting him back and hit “send” consider this:

There is a whole group of men who call themselves “pick up artists” who study social psychology to attract women. I know where kind of going behind “enemy lines” here, but why not steal some of their tricks?

There is a concept of an “open loop” or a “tension loop.” You can read about it here (from a pick up artist’s perspective). But basically what it says is that if you leave a question or incomplete set of information hanging in the open, it will eventually be like an itch that the other person can’t help but scratch.

To put it another way, they won’t be able to stop thinking about it.

Now, you might be thinking:

So what does this have to do with why my ex boyfriend texted me?

Well, the moment he contacted you and sent that text, he created an open loop in his own mind. He wanted to hear from you and he simply won’t be able to get closure until you contact him back.

During this time, you’ll be all he thinks about. He’ll remember all the good times you had and wonder if maybe you’ve moved on. It will drive him crazy.

So, if you want to know how to get your boyfriend back, then you should absolutely contact him back. Just don’t do it too soon and leave that open loop lingering for him for a little while.

Text him back on your own terms whether that means in a few hours or a few days. Also, make sure that you say the right thing to get him back too.

Next Steps:

So what do you do if you want to save your relationship? If you want to learn more tips to get started winning your ex boyfriend back, check out my definitive guide on how to get your ex boyfriend back, and sign up for my newsletter below where I’ll give you tips and advice to save your relationship.

If you’re asking yourself, “What can I do when my ex boyfriend is ignoring me?” I’ll show you exactly what’s going on and what you can do to fix the problem.

You’re probably wondering if he’s over you already. Or maybe he’s holding out on his end, playing some kind of mind games, or using the No Contact Rule himself (maybe he’s even blocked you online).

Here are a few common questions about such situations:

Q: My ex boyfriend ignores me, why is he doing this?

A: There are a lot of reasons why he might be ignoring you. First, if the breakup ended badly or if the two of you had some heavy arguments after the breakup, he might figure he should just cut his losses and stop talking to you now.

Basically, what he’s doing is he’s taking time to cool off and let his emotions settle. Once he’s managed to overcome the feelings of heartbreak or the other painful emotions from the breakup, he will probably be much more willing to talk to you.

Q: What can I do when my ex boyfriend is ignoring me to start to reopen the channels of communication?

A: Sometimes it takes time. However, if you’re constantly trying to reach out to him to get his attention, when he doesn’t want it, you run the risk of permanently pushing him away. He’ll start to see you as that “psycho ex girlfriend” and he’ll just completely block you out of his life.

Instead, what I recommend is that you start using the No Contact rule. Basically, just stop talking to him for a whole month. This gives both of you the time you need to cool off and get your emotions under control (let’s be honest here, you probably need a little help too, right?).

Using the No Contact Rule can be quite scary for a lot of women. It seems completely counter-intuitive and you feel like you might be hurting your chances of really making progress. But the No Contact Rule really works. Check out some No Contact success stories if you are ever having doubts.

Q: Will using the No Contact Rule help when my ex boyfriend ignores me?

A: You bet! In addition to giving both of you the time you need to get your emotions under control, so you can approach each other rationally, it will also get him to really value and respect your time (in effect, you’re really turning the tables on him and also getting him to miss you as well.).

If you always reach out to him, he will start to take you for granted. But if he knows that you’re not always going to be there, he’ll really pay attention when you try to get in touch with him.

During the one month of No Contact, don’t be surprised if he starts to feel the loss of you in his life and even tries to contact you himself. I know if he’s been ignoring you, this will seem like a miracle, but this is something very common that you can expect when you start No Contact.

It can be difficult when your ex boyfriend is ignoring you, but take the leap of faith and start using the No Contact rule to really turn things around between you and him.

Keep Reading If You Want to Know How to Use No Contact to Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back…

Are you worried that you’re losing him? Are you asking yourself “Is my ex boyfriend over me?” Sure, you guys broke up, but you might have been hoping to work things out and get back together. Are there any ways to tell if your your ex boyfriend is over you?

You bet there are. Here are a few red flags (contrasted with signs he wants you back)

Is My Ex Boyfriend Over Me? – How to Tell

Not Contacting You – Does it seem like you have to put all the work into getting in touch with him or spending time together? If he never calls you or actively invites you to do things with him (or if he even flat-out ignores you), then there is a good chance he’s over you.

Disappearing Act – If he goes one step further and won’t even pick up the phone when you call him, reply back when you message him, or even blocks you on sites like Facebook, then this is another sign that he is over you. Basically, this is a subtle way of him trying to tell you that he doesn’t want you in his life at all.

He Says He Doesn’t Want a Relationship – Is your ex boyfriend over you? If he says that he flat-out doesn’t want a relationship, then there’s a good chance that he’s over you and he’d rather go on to enjoy single life. Guys aren’t complicated. Despite what you might think, they really don’t like to play games. You can take their word literally most of the time.

The exception to this is when he’s in the heat of the moment and you can tell that there’s a very strong emotion behind what he’s tell you. This just means he needs time to cool off and what he said can from an emotional place, not a genuine place.

He Only Talks About Himself – If he doesn’t take much (or any interest) in your life at all, and he only talks about himself and his plans, then he obviously isn’t curious about you or your life. He isn’t interested in you and he is definitely moving on with his life. Basically, you should stop being a part of this, since you’re basically just offering him free therapy sessions at your own expense (not cool).

He’s Flakey – Is my ex boyfriend over me if he can’t commit to spending time with me? You bet he is! If it’s a regular occurrence that he can’t make any solid plans with you, or he seems to put other people before you, only using you as his “fall back” when there isn’t anything “better” to do, then yes, you’d better believe that he’s over you.

He Treats You Like a Friend – Has he stopped flirting with you? Does he rarely touch you anymore or treat you just like another friend? If he’s not treating you like a romantic interest anymore, you’d better believe that he is over you. If a guy is interested in you, especially if you’ve had a previous relationship with him, he will definitely treat you like someone he want’s to date or go out with.

I know that it can be difficult to feel that your ex boyfriend is letting go–especially if you’re hoping to get your ex boyfriend back. But, all it really means is that you have to change your approach if you want to attract your ex back. If what you’re doing isn’t working, then it would seem silly to keep doing it, right?

To Learn How to Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back Keep Reading…

Maybe you’ve been doing No Contact for awhile (all while desperately wondering if it even works at all), and lo and behold your ex boyfriend contacts you. Maybe he called, maybe he texted you, maybe he sent you an email. What do you do? Should you contact him back? Should you keep him waiting?

Here are a few common questions about what to do after an ex boyfriend contacts you.

Q: Is it a good idea to talk to him again if my ex boyfriend contacted me?

A: It really depends on what you want. If you want to get back together with him, then you should definitely talk to him again. Just make sure it’s on your own terms and you don’t become one of those girls who eager sits by the phone waiting for “him” while you pass on other commitments of friendships.

Be sure to live your life and put yourself first. If it means you need to play a little phone tag in the meantime, so be it. This is some of the best relationship advice I can give you.

If you are trying to get over your ex boyfriend, put the past behind you, and finally move on with your life, then there probably isn’t much good that will come from contacting him unless you are 100% over the break up.

Q: If my ex boyfriend contacted me, how long should I wait for contacting him back?

A: There are all kinds of rules out there that say you should wait X number of days or whatever.

I suggest that you don’t listen to them. After all, what they really are is a form of psychological manipulation. You know, wait long enough that he starts to feel insecure, starts missing you, and then return that call.

Not cool. Instead, just call him back when the time is right for you. If you need to take a day or two to get your thoughts straight, then that’s fine. Don’t over-think this (and please, no mind games).

Q: If my ex boyfriend contacted me does that mean that he wants me back?

A: Well, this is a tough call to make. If he contacts you to get back his black T-shirt or to get last month’s rent payment from you, then there probably isn’t some kind of romantic ulterior motive.

However, if he says he wants to hang out, catch up, or otherwise start seeing you again, then there is a good chance that he does want you back. (Be sure to check out the signs he’s over you and the signs he wants you back too)

No matter how the relationship ended, it’s hard to just stop loving someone. Even if he doesn’t quite know exactly how to phrase it or how to put his feelings into words.

Q: Should I agree to meet him if my ex boyfriend contacted me?

A: Well, that’s entirely up to you. If you feel the urge to see him again and you open to the possibility of having him in your life again as either a friend or a lover, then you should absolutely agree to meet him.

Take the time to think up some things to do with your ex boyfriend that the two of you can both enjoy doing. Then ask him out. A lot of women are reluctant to ask out a guy, and that’s completely normal, but if you want him back, then you should be willing to step up and ask him out.

Just remember to walk in with no expectations. You never know how things will go, so be open and willing to entertain any sort of idea. You might just restore a good friendship or get back together with a lover.

If you want to learn more about how to get your ex boyfriend back, keep reading…

Does No Contact Work to Get Your Ex Back? It’s a common question that a lot of people are really eager to know.

After all, it can seem quite frightening to completely cut off contact from your ex with the hopes of getting them back. It’s something so counter-intuitive it really makes you wonder if it really works at all or if you’ll just completely ruin your chances. I mean, despite all the no contact success stories, it can still make you wonder if this will work or not.

So here are a few common questions about the No Contact Rule and how to use it to get your ex back:

Q: Does No Contact work to get your ex back if you were in a long distance relationship?

A: Yes, it absolutely can! In fact, the distance can make doing No Contact even easier.

It may seem even more hopeless in long distance situations, because you have completely fallen out of your ex’s life, but it really can work well.

You see, you were always your ex’s tether to another life and another reality. I know from being in a long distance relationship myself that you sort of live two lives when you’re doing it. There’s your life, where you live, then there’s the life where your ex lives.

To completely destroy one of those lives is going to be a huge loss for your ex (more so than if you were just in a regular non-distance relationship). You’d better believe that your ex will feel that and that they will soon start to miss you and try to reach out to you again.

Q: Does No Contact work to get your ex back if my ex won’t even talk to you or they flat out hate you?

A: You bet!  You see, your ex probably isn’t talking to you, ignoring you, or might be acting cruel toward you because they just want some space away from you and the relationship.

Your natural instinct is to probably try and pull your ex closer to you, to try to get them to love you again. Unfortunately, this is the last thing that they probably want right now.

They worked up the courage to breakup and they probably don’t want to take that back and just get back together with you like nothing happened. They would probably feel foolish for doing that.

So, they could be refusing to talk to you or acting mean just to either push you away so they can get that space from the relationship they want, or to help justify the breakup (even though they may very well be having second thoughts).

So, doing No Contact is respecting their request for space and it’s forcing them to live with the consequences of their choice to break up with you.

Q: Does No Contact work to get your ex back… really? I’m still feeling hesitant about it.

A: I completely understand. It is a very drastic move. But you have to understand that this is the kind of thing that will really work wonders for your life and the way you interact with your ex.

Don’t just take my word for it though. There are plenty of No Contact success stories out there of people who have made this work.

And one belief I like to hold on to is that what one person can do, another can do as well.

If countless others can get their ex back, so can you!

Click Here to Learn 3 Things to Do to Get Your Ex Back

So a lot of people will wonder about No Contact success stories. I mean, it’s such a counter-intuitive move, can it really work?

I’ve been there myself, so I know all those “what if” questions that can echo through your mind.

Well, here are a few No Contact success stories for you:

Lynn’s No Contact Success Story:

I was working with a friend of mine who had been dumped by her boyfriend. He moved out of the house and was renting a room with a co-worker while she was left to pick up the pieces of their relationship.

I got her to completely stop contacting her ex boyfriend. This was really hard for her, but we made a game of it :)

Anyway, within ten days, he started to miss her and they get together for ice cream to catch up. Over the next several weeks they took my advice and slowly got back together again.

Rob’s No Contact Success Story:

After his girlfriend moved to Boston for grad school, they soon broke up. Rob fell into a sort of depression.

He reached out to his ex over and over again and he spent nearly a year (and lots of money) devising schemes to get back together with her. Maybe he’d move to Boston too. Maybe he’d write a song for her on his guitar. Maybe he’d shower her with unexpected gifts.

All the while he was agonizing about every little update she gave him about flirting with other guys or going out to clubs on the weekend.

After getting him to stop contacting her, they finally met up when she came back home for the holiday break.

Seeing each other again got them thinking about all the fond times they had together before they broke up. By the time she went back to Boston, they decided to give it another shot, starting out as a long distance relationship and moving closer after the school year was over.

Andy’s No Contact Success Story:

Andrew was so distraught when he found out his ex girlfriend dumped him to get engaged (!) to another guy almost immediately.  I worked with him and got him to stop contact (not to get her back, but just to let go of her!).

Anyway, his ex’s engagement fell though, which is probably for the best since spur of the moment things like that rarely turn out well.

After some time had passed, Andy got in touch with his ex online and simply apologized to her for all the problems he was responsible for in their relationship. This got them talking again. Then before you knew it, they were flirting and meeting up for a coffee at Starbucks.

After a few months of taking things slowly, they were back together again. And a lot happier too!

Even though the No Contact Rule seems like one of the most frightening things to put into action, there are lots of No Contact success stories that come from intentional use of No Contact to frustration to desperation.

Bottom line is that the No Contact Rule works and if regardless of what ends up happening because of it, you’ll be much happier that you used it to deal with heartbreak or get an unresponsive ex to pay attention to you.

If you’d like to learn how to start putting No Contact into action to get your ex back, please continue…

Breakups are bad enough as it is, but I’ll get the occasional question about how to handle your online reputation after a breakup. Sometimes women will write in and say something like:

“My ex boyfriend blocked me on FaceBook! How could he do that?!?”

Well, here are some things you can keep in mind about online activities while you’re struggling with a breakup if you want to know how to get your ex boyfriend back but your ex just completely ignores you, or if you just want to move on.

Don’t block your ex boyfriend yourself

This will just come off as extremely petty. If you’re okay to leave bad blood between the two of you, the go ahead and do it. But if you want to get back together with him or even just be friends with him, you need to be a little bit more mature.

Keep him as a friend if you can, but simply turn off any updates you get from his feed (depending on which website you two are on–Facebook, or whatever).

It’s just going to seem weird to have to re-friend him later on, so just be civil and don’t do it.

But What If He Blocks You?

When this happens, don’t take it too personally. Sure, the two of you may have had your disagreements. Maybe that’s even why you broke up.

But he could have blocked you for a lot of different reasons.

Maybe he doesn’t want any sort of drama in his life right now. Finding out that you’re moving on, getting over him, and dating someone new might really make him feel horrible. Seeing that your ex has a new boyfriend or girlfriend can be a very painful thing to experience. Maybe he’s just trying to avoid this.

Or maybe he just wants some space away from you for now so he can put the pieces of his life back together again. He could be using the No Contact Rule himself (in case you don’t know, the No Contact Rule just means that he’s blocking you out of his life for about one month to give him time to heal).

Or maybe he blocked you because he has a new girlfriend and he doesn’t want the drama of you knowing what him and his new girlfriend are doing. If he doesn’t want you freaking out about every update, he might have blocked you.

Or maybe he is acting out of an intense emotional reaction himself. Could the drama of the breakup have led him to push you out of his life (or at least his online life)?

What to Do About It

Don’t treat it like something big if your boyfriend blocks you. You want to seem mature and in control here. Simply act as though you didn’t even notice or that it didn’t have an impact on you at all.

Maybe there will come a time when the two of you can get back in contact and be friends again, but for now, respect his desire for a little bit of space away from you. Maybe now would be a good time to think of things to do with your ex boyfriend. Try to move on and not get to fixated on this. Remember to be the bigger person here.

Continue If You Want to Know How to Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back…

So you want to know what to say to your ex to get him back. It’s a think that a lot of women want to know after the shock and pain of a breakup. This is especially true if it seems like your ex boyfriend is moving on without you, completely unwilling to hear you out.

Here are a few things to keep in mind when trying to think up what to say to your ex to get him to come back. This is just the beginning of the process of getting your ex boyfriend back, but it’s a start

You Want to Know What to Say to Your Ex to Get Him Back?

First of all, you have to realize that there aren’t any set “magic words” you can say to get him to come back to you. He has his reasons for leaving and as long as those reasons are on the front of his mind, he won’t be coming back to you.

What you have to do then is to do your best to overcome his reasons for leaving you.

How do you do this?

No, you don’t need to get a boob job…

To start with, take a moment and think about the primary reason why he left you. Yes, I know that your situation probably isn’t neat and tidy. There are probably lots of factors involved, but if you had to name the primary cause for the break up, what do you think it would be?

Maybe you didn’t seem to have your own goals in life? Maybe you let your fitness slip since the two of you got together. Or maybe you were too needy and dependent on him.

I don’t know what the primary cause of your breakup was, but if you had to name one thing, what would it be?

Then, focus on overcoming that one thing that you believe was responsible for the breakup. If you need to, burn off some extra fat at the gym, build your self-confidence and independence, or set some goals to take your life in a positive direction.

Spend time working toward these things wholeheartedly. After some time has passed, and you feel that these new habits are starting to stick (and they’re not just a “phase” that you’ll lose interest in quickly), feel free to contact your ex boyfriend and let him know what you’ve been up to.

Don’t say it in a bragging sort of way, and don’t say it specifically to get him back, but just let him know in a casual matter-of-fact sort of way that you’ve been making some major changes in your life.

You see, actions speak louder than words. When he sees the changes that are happening with his own eyes, it will have a much deeper impact that simply trying to memorize what to say to your ex to get him back.

So take the time to improve yourself. Do it not just to get him back, but also to take your life in a better direction. If you try to change for him, the changes probably won’t last and you’ll find yourself right back where you started, sad and with an empty carton of ice cream in your hands trying to heal from a breakup all over again. But if you make the changes for you, the you’ll be much more motivated to keep them.

If you’re ready to get him back, visit the guide on How to Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back

If you’re going through a break up, I know that it can be one of the most challenging things to suffer through–trust me, I’ve been there myself. But what makes it even worse is when your ex doesn’t even seem to care, they ignore you, and they just moved on as if nothing happened. It leaves you wondering how to make your ex miss you like crazy.

I mean, at least if they missed you, you would at least know that you meant something to them, rather than just bashing your head against a cold and uncaring wall. You’re left trying to make sense of the whole situation, while they just happily move on with their life. It really isn’t fair, is it?

Well, here are a few things you can can do to make your ex miss you like crazy.

First, let’s look at what really tends to irk you about your ex. You got it! It’s how they seem to have just bounced back so quickly. Whether they are “living the good life,” dating someone new, or just don’t seem to give you the time of day anymore, it can all really add up and get under your skin.

You see, what you want is to know that you were important to them. That you mattered, right? And if you start to pull back a little bit, they will probably start to feel the same way.

I know that it can be a little scary to think of pulling away. I mean, if your ex is already barely giving you any notice at all, won’t pulling away just be like surrendering any last tether of connection to them at all?

Not quite. It’s going to seem like the most difficult thing you’ve ever done, but if you can push through and get yourself to keep your distance, it will absolutely transform the way your ex sees you and get them to miss you more than you can imagine.

So the first thing is to stop contacting them for about a month or so (this is called the No Contact Rule, and it works like nothing else out there!).

During this month, you need to pick up the pieces of your life and get over him fast–or at least appear to move on.

Does this sound familiar? This is probably exactly what your ex is doing right now, right?

Well, turn the tables on them and give them a taste of their own medicine. Get out of the house, make some new friends, and do things with your life. As long as you’re sulking at home and feeling miserable, your ex will know that they can always come back to you.

But if you’re out doing things and moving on with your life, then they’ll have to face their own fears that they might lose you. I know it’s hard for some people to understand this. I mean, didn’t your ex break up with you?

Why would they be afraid of losing you? Well, they’re branching out and trying something new themselves with their life. It’s only natural to be afraid of the unknown. So they want to keep you as their “safe bet” in case things don’t work out.

When you remove this option for them, they suddenly have to make a choice about what is more important to them. Suddenly, they’ll start to romanticize all to happy times together with you and they’ll begin to miss you like crazy

So that’s how to get your ex to miss you. Basically, you just have to take their tactics to make you miss them, and use them against them. Maybe a little sneaky, but quite effective. Also, check out the signs your ex wants you back to see if this is working.

Did your ex boyfriend breakup with you and now you want to figure out how to make the relationship work? Perhaps you’ve already done everything you can to get his attention but he won’t respond to your phone calls, emails or even messages. If you want to know how to attract your ex back into your life, it’s not going to be what you’ve heard other relationship “masters” tell you. Read on to learn more.

How to Attract Your Ex Back: What NOT to Do

If you want to attract your ex back, the LAST thing that you should do is contact your ex in any form. This mean– no phone calls, no emails, no text messages, and no more “accidentally” bumping into him. If you’ve ever heard of the No Contact Rule, than this is essentially what it is—refraining from all forms of contact.

Why is the No Contact Rule important?

If you want to attract your ex back, you need to understand that you can’t control your ex boyfriend’s feelings. When you contact your ex, you’re essentially trying to change his mind or convince him that he misses you or wants to be with you. You may not be doing this intentionally, but this is going to be the vibe you’re giving off if you’re constantly calling him.

What you also need to understand is that your ex boyfriend WANTS space and time away from you. He really wants to take a break. The more you contact him, the more you are not regarding his needs or wants, giving him a subtle message that you really don’t care what he wants. By contacting him so soon after the breakup will only hurt your chances of keep him in your life but also make you unattractive in his eyes.

Yes, the No Contact Rule does work, you just have to have faith in it.

How to Attract Your Ex: Focus On Yourself

The only thing you do have control of is yourself. Your thoughts, your actions and your perspective.

Trying to control what you can’t control is a waste of time and energy. So, why don’t you take this time to improve parts of your life that you feel is lacking. This is the best way to attract your ex and future love interest.

Is there something you’ve put on the your to-do list that you’ve never gotten around to doing? Perhaps, you’ve been wanting to work on getting in shape or making new friends? If so, what’s stopping you? If it’s your emotions are stopping you, then it’s about time to stop moping around like a lovesick puppy and put that breakup depression behind you.

Take action on making yourself feel better and healing your broken heart. When you focus on improving your own personal life, you are taking the necessary steps to attract your ex back into your life.

How to Attract Your Ex: Change Your Mindset

Step one and two coincides with changing your mindset. Since you’re trying to get your ex back into your life, you could benefit from changing your mindset. When you need your ex back, again you are putting off a vibe of desperation. When you are completely okay with not having him in your life, but you would still like him in your life, than you’re most likely going to attract him back. Does this make sense? Your mindset will play a huge role in attracting back your ex boyfriend.